Saturday, May 08, 2004

Saturday 8th May 2004

Been a mellow couple of weeks.
Planting plants and decorating, doing the books and VAT returns and trying to look at my crappier elements in order to move forward with less baggage! In a nutshell.

Been recording vocals for the ‘Molara’ project and did my first ever remix - of the Zion Train tune ‘Peace and Justice’. I’ve never really been involved in the actual making of the music other than to express an opinion so it was really nice to choose rhythms, chuck out sounds I didn’t love (I do like 100% of Z.T. music and love about 40%) and overlay loads of layers of backing vocals, and have my voice sound how I like it to sound!

Had some lovely visitors from Bristol on the May day bank holiday weekend - a couple and their 6 year old son and 5 year old daughter. The kids all got on and really loved playing together but the thing that made the weekend so nice and relaxed I realised was that the parenting styles were very similar.

The whole thing surrounding having and rasing children is a minefield of emotion and hormones and animal instincts and philosophy and personal history.
~I have friends who desparately want children but can't physically and have to come to terms with and deal with the trauma of that.
~Friends who have tried everything including IVF, only to conceive naturally when the medical profession has given up on them.
~Friends who get pregnant and are very happy but have such set ideas about how the birth will go that when it goes unexpectedly complicated and messy (which it seems to more often than not) are so freaked out that it takes as long as years for the trauma and bitterness to receed and for them to get into parenting.
~Friends who have desparately wanted children and eventually succeed in having a child but are then terrified because they don't love the child immediately.
~Friends who have children almost by accident and either really get into it or totally buckle under the pressure.
~Friends who are so messed up as individuals that the whole concept of them raising children makes your blood run cold!
~Friends who seemingly sail through the whole experience...

The responsibility of trying to raise a balanced and happy person, be nurturing and supportive through all the phases of development - even the teenage years AND give them a name they won't hate AND try to keep a relationship going AND trying to keep growing and contributing as an individual is immense.
The parenting technique possibilities are endless and it's often surprising how totally different even your closest friends styles are to your own.

So yes what made the weekend so lovely was that we felt comfortable relating to and creating boundaries for each other's children. And that's rare!

Tune of the fortnight

by Malcolm McLaren