Saturday, April 24, 2004

Friday 23rd April 2004



If you've been reading you'll know that I live in a sparsely populated part of rural West Wales.
Went up to see my next door but one neighbour today and caught up on local gossip.
There's a woman who lives a couple of miles away who is wheel chair bound through illness. One of the things she seems to revel in telling you when you first meet her is that since the start of her medical condition some years ago she's been in an almost permanent state of sexual arousal. She has voraciously persued my female next door but two neighbour and has a string of male lovers whilst living with her husband. Anyway the latest is that for her birthday present she and her husband went to Cardiff to pick up a bearded man woman with breasts and male and female sex organs who has now moved in with them...
Not my story to tell I know but in a period of relatively quiet domesticity it just seemed too good not to tell.
I never had such quality gossip when we used to live in Tottenham!

When I say we I mean Zion Train original four - Cod Tench Perch and me all lived and worked together for 10 years (we continue to work together but live separately). Remarkable if you ask me - we've seen Take That, The Spice Girls, Atomic Kitten come and go, lightweights.

So. Went down to the Queens Hall in Narbeth tonight to see The Mordekkers (Jez drummer from 'Molara' band, Ed 'Headmix' and 'Molara' too on bass, Peni bagpipes ex of 'Headmix' and her new partner Steff on a sort of mandoliny guitar type thing). Really nice once they'd adjusted the volume on the bagpipes! Funky.
They were supporting The Bagdaddies who were brilliant as always.
I drank quite a lot of beer and vaguely remember standing on a chair dancing at one point and telling a male friend of my friends that I'd only met that night about the lactating thing. Hmm. Apparently when I got home I did a 'Groundhog Day' version of my night out, ie. kept repeating one small section of it over and over, before falling asleep in a passing out kind of style.

Tune of the Day


Mordekker Rhumba
by The Mordekkers

Thursday, April 22, 2004

Thursday 22nd April 2004



Haven’t really felt like writing in my diary – not sure why.
Maybe because I started to feel like I was tailoring thoughts to suit it and immediately thinking about experiences as I would write them for my diary.
If I wrote an entry every day I think it would be really boring so I’m doing an entry when I feel like I’ve got something to say or experiences I want to relay to the world at large! It’s funny because when I started writing this I thought yeah I could put it all in but then it dawned on me that some of my more elderly relatives might decide to read it.
Am I making myself stalker bait here?

As I was writing this, Ed the bass player in the ‘Molara’ band phoned me to chat about music and then said "anyway I’m not going to ask you about what goes on with you because I’ve been to the website and read your diary and it’s all there in far more detail than you’d tell me!" I actually blushed! (This has happened about 6 times in my entire life). Am I really being that explicit?

So. It’s been a generally good time.
Fantastic visitors. First Radboud Mens – Dutch artist and generator of noise/music and mad ideas. We first met him in Staalplaat (wild music label and shop in Amsterdam) dressed in black, the most aggressive shop assistant ever encountered (and I quote "you can’t buy that it’s shit"). We’d go back there every time Zion Train were on tour in Amsterdam and Colin and I would dare each other to go and talk to him/try to buy things. Once you get to know him of course he’s kind, vulnerable, gentle, honest, funny and a joy to have around. The children loved him and since he left a few days ago M* has been walking round the house saying "Radboud, Radboud,Radboud…" not an easy word for a 1year old English speaker!
Anyway him and Colin made mad electro dub all week and we drank much beer and had long talks about life, universe etc (he’s another no bullshit friend).

Next visitors Nicky E who dropped off her angelic and beatific 10 year old daughter for a few days to work on one of the farms next door to us (not the Sufi Muslim whirling dervish farming next door neighbours but the idyllic model farm Christians who are currently hand rearing motherless lambs and feeding jersey cow milk to their Eastenders watching chickens). It was so lovely having her here, we did swimming with my kids, baking, football (she won the trophy in my first blog entry), dug up loads of weeds and planted seeds in our polytunnel. AND she changes nappies. It’s like having a brilliant au pair/older child/mate – we watched ‘Ghostbusters’ and ate popcorn together.

My Mum’s sister and her husband came for one night – excellent visitors as well, they always bring lovely foody type things and treats as well as mountains of biodegradable disposable nappies that you can’t get in the supermarkets round here anymore. They join in contribute and are generally entertaining and enlightened visitors.

So a full on but great week. Sun’s shining mostly.
Did drive to Cardiff airport/London to drop off Radboud and take the angel home.
The only down point of the week was when I went to see a friend in London after dropping off the angel and it was really weird. Where once there was a vibe the vibe was gone. Not a friend I’ve known for long but it was strange that that could happen as we’d had such a laugh prior to that. Oh well. Thank you for the lovely times anyway…

Tune of the week


I’m Going to Sit Down at The Welcome Table
by Jessie Fuller

Saturday, April 10, 2004

Saturday 10th April 2004



My life is bizarre because of the contrasting situations I find myself in.
One minute I am on tour being quite single and quite free and quite a party animal, whilst trying to entertain and inspire people having travelled to wherever I've travelled to with some businessmen or holiday makers.
Then I am at home with my children being inspired and amazed by them and Colin and the mad ideas and music and things which all three of them produce.

Tonight me and 3 of the other mum's from playgroup sat and drank wine and cut out and planned all of the craft for next terms playgroup sessions. We discussed the various different vibrators we owned (we all owned one which amazed me), the merits of the death penalty for paedophiles, the merits of the institution of marriage (2 of us married and 2 not), the acceptance by the community of the only gay and the only cross dresser in Crymych (very small local village) and general gossip. At times like these I hardly believe my other life exists.

Tune of the day


Gorecki
by Lamb a beautiful all time favourite

Friday 9th April 2004



"Good Friday".
Don't really know what to say about it other than that I'm not sure how to approach it with my children as it's so obviously about Jesus Christ that it's impossible to do like Christmas and pretend it's some sort of pagan celebration too!
The children were very kindly given Easter eggs yesterday so every morning F* is asking whether he can eat it yet - Sunday is going to be the biggest sugar rush of his life as up until now he didn't get it. Well he still doesn't get "it" but he knows that big chocolate is due to him!
Feeling compromised - can't opt out of the egg thing, don't want part of the God thing. F**k I'm displaying protestant guilt!

Tune of the day


The Bed's Too Big Without You
by The Police

Friday, April 09, 2004

Thursday 8th April 2004



I was thinking of Joy Division because of yesterday, and remembering that my mate Tom the fireman (actually he's now head of the firemen) from Wroclaw in Poland spent a whole months wages on buying 'Closer' when it first came out.
Talk about dedication to music. But it's not really dedication to music it's something about life and knowing what's important and what things are going to resonate with your soul. Some of these things you seek out and some you discover by accident. Even when times are really really hard there's wonder in the world to be had/heard/felt.

I have always loathed Nick Cave (I can be a right prejudiced pain in the arse at times and I decided some years ago that he was depressing and had nothing to offer me) but today I saw his 'Fifteen Feet of Pure White Snow' video where he gets his mates together and takes them to a hall in the middle of nowhere in Latvia or somewhere, gets them pissed and films them dancing to his tune. It's magnificent. Jason Donovan puts in a stunning pissed up performance which is out there and has to be seen to be believed.
Loved it like Fatboy Slim's 'Praise You'.

Typed up the last of an interview I did with John Peel in 1996 to go on the Molara website. He is so totally sound and lovely parts of it made me well up, well worth a read for a life re-affirming look at life...

Tune of the day


Y'r Haid
by Kald

Wednesday, April 07, 2004

Wednesday 7th April 2004



Dave from Post Office Records, a.k.a. DJ Methodist, came round to do a session today - he's working on a cover version of Joy Division's 'Digital' and wanted me to record a vocal for it.
I'm always really honoured when people ask me to sing stuff for them especially when it's something which is far removed from what people are used to hearing me sing. It's almost like they assume that because I am a singer I'll be able to sing anything well, and that feels like a lovely vote of confidence!

Joy Division have a special place in my heart as well because it's music that as an angst ridden teenager I vibrated on the same wave length as (and still do, not that I'm angst ridden anymore but still working on getting through without religion or an adopted belief structure to answer all the questions for me). It was like the musical equivalent of 'Catcher in the Rye' which I adored and thought the other day I must re-read. Have to mention another J.D.Salinger book of short stories which I also love 'For Esme With Love and Squalor'.

This is part diary and part everything that went into my life coming out as reccomendations/food for thought, my legacy to the world!
I do feel that everybody has something to offer and that a system whereby everybody worked half the day and pursued creative endeavours/were given space to express themselves for the rest of the day would solve much of the worlds ills... Anyway I digress as usual.

Not that there's anything major remaining to say about this day other than that the sun shone and I felt like planting seeds.

Tune of the day


Love Will Tear Us Apart
by Joy Division

Tuesday, April 06, 2004

Tuesday 6th April 2004



Had a dream in the middle of the night that a very nice woman I know from a venue called The Junction in Cambridge, had given birth to triplets. One of whom didn't survive, one of whom was black, and one white.
Significant on two levels for me.
Firstly from the point when I had the dream the re-occurring thought that I must remember it to put it in my blog diary came into my head and my sleep was lighter as a result of this task - ie.the remembering.
For the first time I was aware of almost tailoring my life for my online diary rather than just letting life happen and then writing about it. For the first time I am writing about a day as it happens (it's 10am) as opposed to once it's over.
Is this the start of an obsession? Compulsion?

Secondly genes are mad.
My Dad is black Nigerian and my Mum white English.
Apart from my eyes which are dark brown, every other feature of mine is split down the middle (white coffee skin, loose curl hair) even to the point where I have one ear shaped like my Dad's and the other like my Mums (=very odd ears).
So anyway, that's me, and Colin is pale white with blue eyes and brown hair.
So we have one child who is pale brown skinned with brown eyes and curly hair like mine, and one who is white with blue eyes and straight hair.
Genes.
Mad.

Tune of the day


I'd Like to Walk Around in Your Mind
by Vashti

Monday, April 05, 2004

Monday 5th April 2004



A week characterised by playing nursey to the sick three.

Escaped for 24 hours on Wednesday and Thursday and went exploring the coast near Bristol - sea, some nice sand and some sinking sand (if ever you see yellow triangle signs of a bloke with flailing arms take note as they totally passed me by) a bit of sun, hot bath (aren't bath's just one of the nicest things) and some quality lovely time up a hill...

The most surreal event of the week was that four months after stopping breast feeding my daughter I started to lactate again! What on earth is going on there?!
The worst thing is that the more I think about it and how bizarre it is the more I am lactating - stuck in a cycle of obsessive thought lactation! Help!
I had just got used to having my body back for me. . .

Tune of the day up Uphill


Just a Rascal
by Dizzy Rascal